We Have Cookies
by Lady Dragon010
Summary: Draco is ordered to date Harry. Harry agrees to date him. What chaos will ensue with this disagreeably agreeable couple when Draco forgets his original reason to date Harry? new summary as plot has changed due to long periods between writing
1. We Have Cookies

A/n This story hit me just as I woke up. I own none of the characters you recognize, but I might add a few of mine own. The plot is simple and cliche Draco is sent out to "date" Harry while in secret is supposed to be brainwashing him. Turns out, he himself is being brainwashed without either of them knowing. This is yaoi (a.k.a., slash m/m) don't like don't read. Otherwise, please R&R. :)

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Ch 1

We Have Cookies

The trio sat quietly on the train with their friends, Ginny, Neville and Luna. Well quiet is to say that they didn't speak. Ron's head was against the window which seemed to make his snoring worse, Luna was immersed in a copy of the Quibbler, Hermione in a potions book. Harry just didn't feel like talking so Ginny sat staring out the window.

"My God, you'd think they were torturing a caged lion or something," a cold voice drawled. They jumped.

"What do you want Malfoy?" Harry asked, in no mood for games or Malfoy.

"Hostile, Potter, what no hugs. We haven't seen each other for ages," he said feigning sadness.

"Piss off Malfoy, unless you have something useful or important to say."

"Actually I do." Draco shoved Neville over waking Ron and sat down.

"W-wha's he doing here?" Ron mumbled.

"Shut up. Potter, I need to speak to you and since I know you don't trust me alone, I'll say in front of them. Will you go out with me?"

Everyone stared at him.

"Run that by me again, I think I heard, "will you go out with me," but that can't be right... Can it?" Harry was definitely shocked.

"Yes, Harry, I asked you out. Will you?"

"Okay, lets see, will I go out with you. Um... Oh I know, when Hell freezes over, when my relatives give me their sudden realization of their love for me and apologies and then whisk me away on a vacation to make up for lost time, sure. Oh, and when you stop being such a fucking git."

Draco stared at him before speaking.

"I can see this was a waist of my time. Bye Potter." Draco stalked out of their compartment and Neville quickly shut the door and drew the curtains.

"What was that?" Ron asked  
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Two Days Earlier:_

_Draco sprawled on the black sofa waiting for his father to speak, finally he did._

_"Draco, I want you to date Potter-"_

_"What?" Draco sat straight up. "I am not dating Po-"_

_"Be quiet and let me finish. I want you to date Potter and slowly turn him to our side. Then when we feel he is ready, he will join us and the world will fall knowing their Golden Boy is no longer fighting for them."_

_"Oh, brain wash Potter, bring him over. Okay, but why me?"_

_"Because if you're going to be a freak you might as well be useful."  
_

_That night Draco was up all night thinking about it. Finall_y _at four in the morning he decided to do it. He'd date the Golden Boy and bring him to their side._

Back to the present:

Harry was flabbergasted, Draco had asked him out? He knew Draco was gay, he himself was, but them as a couple? Harry sighed and ate another bite of potato. The Great Hall was filled with the rumbling chatter of people telling their friends their summer tales. Ron was stuffing his face as usual. Harry hadn't think it was possible to fit an entire potato and two sausages into one's mouth, but Ron managed it. Oh well, Ron was still his best friend along side Hermione and he was glad to have them both. He needed Ron's thickheadedness and Ron at his back to agree and stand by him on things and he never would have survived school, or life with out Hermione's brains and thoughtfulness. Come to think of it, without their loyalty, Harry would have been dead his first year of school. And Ginny and a lot of others. He hoped he'd live through this year, his seventh and last year of school, without Voldemort trying his best to kill him at every bleeding turn.

Harry barely heard Dumbledor's announcements and only got up to leave for the dormitories when Ron pulled him up. He was silent until he ran into someone who had stopped in front of him.

"Hello Potter." Harry groaned.

"What do you want Malfoy?"

"Come to the dark side, we have cookies."

"What? What are you talking about?" Harry definitely needed to be in his four-poster bed right now.

"It's a muggle joke, you of all people should know it. Anyways, I was wondering if Hell had frozen over yet. Or maybe you got that vacation and it's over."

"Why do you want to go out with me D- Malfoy? Out of all the boys in this school, me, your enemy since first year. Now during seventh you want to date me? Did you get hit in the head one to many times, maybe you should go see Madam Pomfrey." Harry made to go around Draco but Draco blocked him.

"Give me a chance, please. I know we've been on the wrong foot with each other since first year, but that's only because I didn't think father would approve if I had done what I've been wanting to do since I saw you."

"And what's that?" Harry sighed.

"To drop you on the floor and shag the living day-lights out of you. Just try, for a while, if after a month you don't want to, we can break up. I'll stop bugging you and just live in the dark nursing a crushing crush for you. What do you say?"

By now Harry was tired enough he'd have said yes to doing juggling tricks, and yes he did say. Draco let him by with a smug smirk on his face.

Draco watched the dark haired boy slouch down the corridor and smiled. Faze one completed. Now for faze two. Draco turned and headed for the Slytherin common rooms.

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A/n Harry needs caffeine or something, he seems 'bout ready to drop. Anyways, should I continue with my random little story?


	2. Shell Shocked stoner Statues

Ch2

Shell-Shocked Stoner Statues

Harry awoke up the next morning and was about ready to fall back asleep when last nights encounter flitted through his mind. He fell out of bed in shock. He had accepted going out with Draco! He jumped out of bed and dressed in a hurry, and trying to put another pair of pants on for a coat he ran out of the boy's dormitories ignoring the questions of the others he had waken. He realized his pants mistake and left them in the portrait hole on his way to find Draco.

Draco was about to enter the Great Hall when a shape came flying at him and he was yanked into an empty corridor before he got his bearings and stopped causing him and Potter to fall on top of each other.

"Potter, what the bloody hell do you think you're doing?" Draco said disentangling himself from Potter's legs.

"Trying out for the Indi-500, I hear they take runners." At Draco's blank look he spoke again.

"Trying to find you to make sure I was just dreaming and that I really am still sane. Did I seriously say yes to going out with you last night?" Harry dreaded the answer.

"Yes, we are going out. So c'mon lover, lets go get breakfast." Draco grabbed a stunned and now sloth like Harry by the waist and pull him into the Great Hall.

The hall fell silent when the two stepped through the doors. But the silence didn't last long, whispers and chatter erupted as Harry gained his thoughts and headed for Gryffindor table with Draco still attatched to his waist.

He headed straight for Ron and Hermione who were staring at him as he and Draco approached.

"Harry, uh, wha-" Ron started.

"Let me explain Ron. Last night, I lost my mind." Harry said and pulled himself from Draco's grasp.

"Oh puh-lease. I asked him to give me a one month chance and go out with me, he agreed. By the way, you two need to start giving this boy caffeine. He is seriously slowing down."

Ron's mouth hung open like a demented statue, food still inside. Draco grimaced and turned from him. Hermione remained calm and closed mouthed, for once.

"Well _Harry, _I will see you later," Draco said and blew a "kiss" at the still shell shocked Gryffindor before walking over to the Slytherin table.

"Harry, he's not serious is he? I mean, you two can't be going, it's _Malfoy_ we're talking about," Ron was confused.

"Oh honestly Ron, Harry's only going to be doing this for a month, it's only fair to give him a chance."

"Yeah, but, _Malfoy?_" Hermione shook her head and stood up.

"Lucky it's a Sunday or you two would be late to class, oh, here you are, Harry, they passed out the class schedules before you got here." She handed Harry his schedule and left. Ron soon followed after trying for five minutes to get a response from the glass-eyed Harry.

"Trying out for a statue contest?" Fred asked coming to stand behind him.

"Well after that display with Malfoy I would to," George said.

"Yeah, what was up with that anyway, people would think you two were going out or something."

"We _are_ going out," Harry moaned.

"Oh, bad luck mate," Fred said.

"Yeah, can't help ya with mind loss can we Fred?"

"No we can't. Anyway got to be off now."

The twins left and their place behind Harry was replaced by Draco.

"C'mon then. Up you go. People are going to think their Golden Boy is a stoner." He pulled Harry up and dragged him out of the Hall.

"Fancy a walk 'round the lake? Really, good. We need to talk."

"What do we need to talk about?" Harry asked finally waking out the mantra he had been saying since breakfast, which was, "please wake up, please wake up."

"You. We're dating, you need to act like it or no one will believe it. This entails that we hug, kiss, and act couple like." Draco turned to look at Harry who had stopped. "Understand?"

"Yeah, I understand," Harry sighed. He had agreed and it wasn't like him to not keep a promise, it was only a month after all.

"Good."

That night when Draco was in the common room he wrote a letter to his father:

Faze one complete.

Draco


	3. Flying Potatoes

A/n I'm back! I'm sooooooooo sorry for the long wait, I lost my thread in the middle of chapter three but I woke up from a nap today and decided to finish it. My mum is loving it, I've writtin a lot since, well, chapters 4 and 5 anyway. I hope you like them and that they continue to bring smiles and laughter to ya. Cheers peoples. Sugar!!!!!! O_O

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Ch 3

Flying Potatoes

It had been two days since Harry had accepted Draco's request to date him and Harry was barely used to Draco walking up to him during mealtimes

and kissing the top of his head before shoving whoever was near Harry to sit down. Draco hadn't arrived yet but Harry was vigilant anyway.

Five minutes later Ron had just taken a huge bit of potatoes when Draco yanked Harry's head back and kissed him full on the lips. They heard Ron choke and a thump as Seamus hit him on the back and potatoes went flying hitting the kissing couple.

"Oh disgusting Weasley, you really know how to ruin a mood!" Draco conjured a rag and wiped off the potato spatter. Ron and Harry were pale.

"_Thanks,"_ Harry mouthed to Ron. Ron tried to smile but only grimaced.

"Anyway, Harry, come with me."

"What, why? Where are we going?" Harry didn't want to leave and clutched at the table as though it would keep him there.

"You won't know til we get there, come on." Draco yanked Harry to his feet and pulled Harry out of the Great Hall as the Weasley twins hummed a funeral dirge.

When they were in the main corridor Draco stopped and Harry ran into him.

"That was my foot Harry. Where's your invisiblity cloak and don't deny you have one, I've seen, well, I haven't actually seen, you use it, but I know you have it."

"I-uh, it's in my trunk upstairs." Harry sighed.

"Great, let's go get it."

_He's kinda cute when he's all nervous and weirded out. Wait, I did NOT just think that. Bad brain, bad Draco._ He mentally slapped himself as he followed Harry up the stairs. He grinned in memory at the letter he had recieved from his father. The reason of delay. It had said: _Draco, What in blazes are you on about? What is with all this "faze" nonsense? I demand a proper reply. _Draco had burst out in un-Malfoyish behaviour and had had to hide in the bathroom to laugh.

"Wait here, I'll be right back." Draco was brought back to the present in time to see Harry vanish through the portrait hole.

He waited maybe three minutes before Harry was back.

"You got that map to?" Draco asked.

"Ho-"

"Wow, do you not realize how obvious you are with your secrets. Snape told me to beware. He saw it in your brain after your fifth year oclems lessons."

"Oh, yeah. I always carry it with me, since sixth year."

"Cool, what's the quickest way to Hogsmeade?"

Harry sighed, "Follow me."

Ron was just in time to see Harry and Draco vanish under the cloak and thoughts rushed through his brain, first and foremost, _Ah! He's turning Harry, Harry gave him the map! I need to save Harry. Must tell Hermione, must buy chocolate frogs while on rescue mission._

Ron rushed back to the Great Hall and found Hermione exiting and told her what he saw.

"Well, I don't like that they're sneaking off of school grounds especialy on a school day but nothing we can do. Come on Ron, class." Ron gaped at her like a fish as she walked off down the corridor for Charms. How could she be so calm? Ron sighed and a few seconds later followed. It was true, he really had no way of getting to Hogsmeade without getting seen anyway. But when Harry got back he would begin the de-brainwashing sequense. Though what that was he had no idea.


	4. Lollipop Luxury Sugar High

Ch 4

Lollipop Luxury Sugar High

"Why are we going into Hogsmeade?" Harry asked as they duck-walked down the long tunnel that led to Honeydukes basement.

"Our first date. If we're to be dating we should at least have one date. Besides I heard that Honeydukes just imported a ton of Muggle candy and I figured you'd want to stock up on some. It's limited to this month and we don't have a visit until next month. Plus I want to try Skittles, I've never tasted a rainbow, I figure this is the closest thing." Harry burst out laughing which hurt in the cramped area and Draco snorted.

"What is so funny?" he demanded.

"Skittles do not taste like rainbows, they taste like fruit. 'Taste the Rainbow' is a sales gimmick to make people buy them. But they do taste good."

"Well that's cheap." Draco fell into a pout-like silence as Harry chuckled.

_This is surprisingly nice of him, maybe he really does like me. It hasn't been so bad, I should give him a chance. He is hot even if he is a bit haughty. Heck, this could work. I'll be nicer now. Rainbows, I'm going to laugh every time I see Skittles or hear the word rainbow. We're almost there._

"We're almost there Draco, not far now. Was I really so obvious about the map?"

"Yes and no. I'd see you randomly looking at a piece of parchment or vanishing in dark corridors, but otherwise I had no idea until Snape told me, then it made more sense. Harry, what in the world is an MP3?" Harry snorted again and answered.

"It's a way for Muggles to listen to music, various versions hold different amounts of music but the technology is advancing so fast that newer versions are holding more and more. I have mine in my pocket, I had Hermione bewitch it so that I could listen to it even at Hogwarts. I listen to a variety of music, rock, metal, pop. All Muggle bands. I have one song that might make you laugh if you understood some of the Muggle terms, you might."

"I've heard of one song. I think it's about candy, Lollipop Luxury, by a guy named Jefree Star. Do you have that? Why are you laughing?"

"I- That's the song I wanted you to hear. It's not about candy though. I have a picture of the guy in my trunk. I'll show you. Sorry. There are the stairs. We'd better use the cloak."

They made their way up the stairs and at the top Harry opened the hatch and then stood wearing the cloak and holding it so that as Draco stood he was covered as well. When the hatch was shut they made their way silently up the stairs and into the main shop where, even without the students it was packed. Harry and Draco appeared with no one the wiser and together they looked around until they saw a sign, MUGGLE CANDY, LIMITED TIME OFFER. Both made a beeline to the display where wizards and witches were wondering over the strange candies that Harry was so familiar with. Harry immediately saw a box of Skittles and grabbed two bags and then let Draco have free reign of picking out candies he wanted to try.

By the time they were ready to pay Draco had at least two of everything from the display and insisted upon paying. Skittles, M&M's, 3 Musketeers, Snickers, Twix, they even had coffee, and many others. Harry shook his head smiling. Shrinking their bag and putting it into his pocket Draco led the way out of the shop and towards the Three Broomsticks.

Inside they ordered two butterbeers and found a table in the far corner where Draco proceeded to try the Skittles, the Snickers, M&M's, and an orange/chocolate ball that Harry had to break on the table for him.

By the time they had finished their butterbeers and had left Draco for the first time in his life had a sugar high. Harry had never been so amused.

"OH MY GOD! A TREE! BACK YOU VILLAINOUS THING! UNGUARD, RAWR!" Harry fell to his knees in laughter as Draco mock dueled the tree. Then he had an idea.

"Draco, I think you've defeated the tree. Want to listen to Lollipop Luxury now?" Draco paused mid-wave and they both sat on a bench, Draco bouncing in place, while Harry pulled out his headphones and MP3. He inserted one of the ear-buds into Draco's closest ear, his right, and the other into his own and turned it on.

Scrolling down the list of songs until he found it he hit play and jacked the volume up. Draco suddenly sat still from his bouncing and listened to the song.

After an hour of listening to a bunch of songs Harry and Draco deemed it time to return to the castle. They were almost to Honeydukes, Draco singing "_Fuck me, I'm a celebrity,"_ from Lollipop Luxury when the last person Harry wanted to see appeared in front of them. Draco paused in the middle of the chorus and then in his sugar induced mind proceeded slap the tall man on the back and say, "What's kickin' Teach? You still hip to the beat? How's your lollipop?"

"Silence Draco. Potter, what have you done to the boy?" Snape said dangerously quiet.

"He ate candy," Harry said trying to stifle a giggle at Draco's mention to Snape's "lollipop"

"Follow me to the castle. You both have detention for the next three Saturday's. Draco stop that incessant singing." Snape shouted to stop Draco from finishing singing the chorus to Rock and Roll All Nite by Kiss.

All the way to the castle Draco continued to make Harry laugh by doing random things all the while switching from song to song. By the time they reached the castle Harry was ready to bet that Snape was ready to either kill Draco or himself or all three of them. Harry knew one thing, Snape would never eat another lollipop if ever had before.

Snape was livid when they reached his office.

"Inside, now!" he shouted.


	5. I Blame the Skittles

Ch 5

I Blame the Skittles

Draco hopped along the corridor his buzz slowly returning after a boring hour of Snape going on about skipping classes, danger with the Dark Lord being back, detentions and a bunch of other crap that Draco had tuned out. When he reached the statue that guarded the Slytherin Common room he had a sudden idea and put it into action before passing out in a sugar crash.

The next morning Harry looked at the Slytherin table on his way to the Gryffindor table but he saw no sign of Draco. He was met by glares as he sat down.

"Where were you mate?" Ron asked through his bacon.

"Hogsmeade with Draco, our first date," Harry said loading his plate with eggs and bacon and sausage.

"Harry you really shouldn't-" she paused in what Harry knew was a lecture about skipping classes to stare at the door to the Great Hall. Harry taking a bite of eggs as he turned choked at what he saw.

Draco came bunny hopping toward him his hair a vivid bubble gum pink and spiked. What made matters worse was the fact that he had found a headband with bunny ears and he watched transfixed as they bounced on his head.

He paused beside Harry, out of breath and it was a minute before he spoke.

"Before you say anything I just want to say, I BLAME THE SKITTLES!" he shouted the last part and Harry fell off the bench in laughter, much to the confusion of the room and horror of the Slytherin table. As he laughed he looked up at Draco, who was turning in circles, and Harry doubled over at the site of a fluffy tale taped to Draco's bum.

"Oh! Harry, that coffee stuff they had, that stuff is awesome." And to everyone's amusement he began chanting "coffee, coffee," on his way to the aghast Slytherins. Harry managed to regain his composure, though he was out of breath and sore, and sat back in his seat. Hermione and Ron looked as though someone had danced the conga on the table, then he realized they were staring at the table across the hall. _He couldn't, he wouldn't have_, was Harry's thought, but sure enough the sight that met him was Draco doing the conga along the Slytherin table. Needless to say he was taken to the Hospital Wing for a calm-down potion.

Harry was in a cheerful mood though at lunch Draco was still in the Hospital Wing. However he made an appearance at the entrance to the Potion's classroom and Harry was glad to see he had dropped the bunny getup, his hair was still pink though.

"Hey Draco, how're you feeling?" Harry asked. Draco rubbed his head and answered.

"I feel like passing out. I can't believe I did that. And to make it worse I can't change the color of my hair until Christmas, not even to another color." He tugged at one of the still pink spikes.

"It suites you. You look less ghostly. You should wear eyeliner and add to the look." Harry said before Snape opened the door and let the now silent seventh years into the classroom.

"Today," he began when everyone was seated. "Today we shall be starting the Rainbow- what is the matter Potter? Stop your laughing. Not you to Draco." Snape stopped speaking as the two sat doubled in their seats laughing. A few minutes later they were calm enough for Snape to continue.

"As I began before our interruption. We will begin brewing the Rainbow potion which can rejuvenate people who are in deep depressions or in non-magic induced comas. It will take a week of simmering, which if started right, you may finish in our next class. The instructions are on the board, begin." He waved his wand and the instructions appeared in looping cursive on the board. The class began immediately, Harry still smirking.

"What's so funny mate? You've been weird since yesterday. What did Draco do to you?" Ron asked as he measured beetle eyes.

"Oh, there's a Muggle candy called Skittles, and Draco's never had them so when he said he wanted to try them he said it would be the next best thing to tasting a rainbow because the sales pitch for Skittles is 'Skittles, taste the rainbow'," Harry said. Hermione giggled, Ron still looked confused.

"You know, I don't think this dating Draco thing is going to be all that bad. Not with Skittles on my side." Harry said before Snape walked by saying, "less talk, more work, Potter."

Silence fell on the trio and they finished the class in silence. When they were done Harry felt sure he had done everything right, he would know for sure in the meantime.

Draco caught up with them on their way out of the classroom to dinner.

"Feel like eating together?" he asked.

"Sure. What color was your potion when you were done?"

"Purple, dark. Why?" Draco looked at Harry.

"I was just checking, mine was too and I was hoping I did it right." Harry looked at Hermione who was whispering with Ron. He said nothing but jumped when Draco took his hand, though he closed his fingers around the other's hand after a second.

Dinner was quiet and nothing really happened as Draco was feeling sick from his sugar intake the previous day.

That night Draco laid in bed cursing himself. He was supposed to be turning Harry to the dark side, not leaping about like a rabbit and binging on Muggle sweets. Tomorrow he would try to continue with his given mission. In the meantime he would try to sleep.


End file.
